5 December 2010-12-05
“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”
2. Victim Mentality is a Way of Seeing and Relating
Proverbs 23:7 “As a man thinks in his heart so he is”.
· Example of Israel – Slaves in Egypt (victims under a harsh taskmaster)
Exodus 15:22-25 “The people complained against Moses”
Their temporary hardship and difficulty caused their bitterness to show.
They looked for someone to blame.
The remedy – God revealed His Father’s Love that healed their situation.
· Example of the Older Brother – Slaves in the Father’s house (slaves to the law)
· Luke 15:25-31 “He was angry and would not go in”
· The elder son served – worked hard but had no revelation of the Father’s Love.
· He substituted works for relationship and believed he was right.
· Personal example:
Emotionally/relationally isolated – (past unresolved).
Worked hard to gain approval (heart belief).
Developed “Victim Mentality” in many areas of life.
Journey of revelation of Father’s love and healing.
– breaking patterns of isolating in pain and resolving heart pain.
· Elder Brother
Isolated Blamed Justified self Bitterness
Closed spirit Judged Wrong beliefs Anger
3. Victim Mentality sabotages Relationships
“Victims” interpret life/relationships through their heart’s bitterness
(i) I am a victim = not my fault, hurt, I am right, withdraws
(ii) You are my persecutor = it is your fault, you are against me, attack
(iii) I need a rescuer = someone must come through for me, meet my needs
· “Victims” are unable to develop emotional intimacy because they believe they are “unlovable”.
· It is easier to play the role of the victim than to assume responsibility.
· Note: A person with a victim mentality will play all 3 roles.
4. Steps out of the Victim Mentality
(i) Become Aware of your Thinking/Behaviour
Questions to ask yourself -
· Patterns of relationships that is ugly?
· History of hurting or being hurt?
· Blame self or others often for things going wrong?
· Frequent feelings of anger?
· Childhood experiences?
(ii) Sexual abuse
(iii) Struggle with feelings, openness, over-ridden
(iv) Rejection, abandonment, other types of loss
(v) Life threatening emotional experiences
· Felt smothered or unimportant in the family.
(ii) Ownership of Pain and Vulnerability
· There can be no freedom without responsibility
· What are the feelings? What are the beliefs?
· What are the expectations?
· What events in the past have been some of these issues?
(iii) Ask the Holy Spirit to Uncover the Roots
· Painful experiences that impact and how they relate?
· Personal reactions – anger, bitterness, judgements?
· Beliefs, expectations and inner vows formed in the heart.
(iv) Yield to the Holy Spirit’s direction on how to resolve them?
· Personal ministry and counsel?
· Renouncing judgements and inner vows
(v) Work on Renewing the Beliefs
· What is the old belief?
· What is the truth?
· Meditate – embrace – confess the truth – ask the Holy Spirit to reveal love.
(vi) Practise Giving and Receiving Love
· Refuse old patterns of isolating
· Connect and practise giving and receiving love
· Romans 8:14-15