After a few tries, you finally make it out the door. Where are you headed?\n\n[[the park near your house|park]]\n[[the mall|mall]]\n[[a local bar|bar]]
The face you normally wear. The one that makes people think you're a guy. \n\n[[Stop thinking about that and go out and try to interact with people.|Girl Mode]]
You see:\na comment that you want to [[respond|witty response]] to.\na [[group of people|group of friends]] chatting
What made you think you could do this. You'll never be a [[functional]] human being. \n\nWell time to get some [[sleep.|go to bed]]\n
You're broken, flawed, and you'll never be able to get in a relationship, or make friends. \n\nTime for a [[crying|go cry]] fest.
[[content warning]]\n\nSo, time to try to talk to people. \n\nDo you want to \n[[Go out|Get ready]], \nOr \n[[Log in?|Log In]]\n
[[You're not welcome here.]] You can't even type the words in. It's too overwhelming.\n\n[[go to bed]]\n\n[[go cry]]
You would never even attempt this in real life. You'd be way to [[freaked out.]]
You go to favstar the tweet. You stop yourself. You don't want to come across as creepy. You don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. You know how much shit people have to deal with online. You'll just make their life harder. [[Just move on.|keep looking]] You're not going to be able to do anything.
You wash off the make-up. Style your hair differently, and get dressed in a pair of slacks and a button down dress shirt. You hate yourself, but maybe now you can [[make it out the door.|Where to go]]
This is why you're so lonely. You can't handle being in [[groups of people.|group of friends]] One on one interaction is hard enough.
You'll take what you can get. But you still feel like a [[burden]].
So, time to try to talk to people. \n\nDo you want to \n[[Go out|Get ready]], \nOr \n[[Log in?|Log In]]\n
You should just go kill yourself you worthless peice of human garbage. But you can't even do that right. \n\n[[go cry]]
You delete it. You can't do this. You're just being intrusive. Why can't you just function normally?\n\n[[go cry]]\n\n[[go to bed]]
This game simulates what social anxiety can be like for me. If you are sensitive to that, or to being demeaned, you might not want to [[proceed]]\n\n\nAlso suicidal thoughts.
A girl sits down beside you. She asks you the time.\n\nYou tell her and she walks out of your life. This is the closest you've come to human interaction all day.\n\nYou hate yourself.\n\nTime to go.\n\n[[go to the park|park]]\n[[go to the bar|bar]]\n[[go home and get on the internet|Log in]]\n
You can't do it. You want to but you can't. [[Try again?|Failure]] Try [[boy mode?|boymode2]] or give up and [[get on the internet?|Log in]]\n
you tell hir just how bad a night you're having. Ze offers [[comfort.]] \n
You just can't handle face to face interaction today. Not that there aren't great people on twitter, but you just wanted to at least get out of the house today.\n\n[[Sign in to twitter]]
So, feeling brave today are we?\nWe'll see how long that lasts.\nJust how brave are you today? Brave enough? Brave enough to dare to [[go out as YOU?|Girl Mode]] Or just enough to maybe make it out the door? \n\n[[Boy mode|boymode]]
The High Cost of Social Interaction.\nOr. \nFuck my life.
you wait. and wait. neither you nor they say anything. Why are you so goddamn incompetent? Why can't you just be like normal people and say something. The silence drags on and on until you can't take it anymore and get up and [[leave.|leave]]
"You're fine" \nYou still don't believe hir, but you're willing to continue, [[you need this.]]
You type in a the words to ask her if you can complement her. You erase them. You type them in again. You erase them. [[You can't do it.|pathetic peice of shit]]
She looks really confident, and fun.\nYou can:\n\nAsk if you can [[compliment]] her.\n\n[[Favstar]] the tweet\n\nIgnore it, and [[keep looking]] at your feed.
You can finally see yourself as you are. What a relief to put away the [[awful mask.|ugh]]
You get dressed in a pair of khakis and a long sleeve button down. You hate being percieved as a guy, but hey, you aren't brave enough to face the world as you, and actually interact with people. Coward. [[Time to head out.|Where to go]]
These people don't care about your insignificant opinion. Who the fuck do you [[think you are?]]
you head to the park. You walk for a while. You're silent the entire time. Why the hell can't you talk to anyone. \n\nSomeone sits down on a bench near you. you want to say something, anything but you can't. \n\nYou can't do anything.\n\n[[Wait in awkward silence and hope they say something|wait]]\n\n[[get up and leave|leave]]\n\n
You won't be able to get everything on one runthrough. [[Restart|proceed]]
You're nobody. [[You're nothing.]]
You are worn down from just trying to be a normal person. You're going to have to make a real effort just to keep trying. \n\n[[Sign in to twitter]]\n
"I'm sorry to be such a downer" \n"I'm sorry, I'm bothering you"\n"Just [[tell]] me and I'll go away."\n\n
You pathetic peice of shit. Just go ahead and [[favorite|Favstar]] the tweet.
You spend an hour crying. You get back on, and someone you know wants to talk. [[finally]]
You write a witty response. [[tweet]]
A group of people are having an interesting conversation that you want to [[take part in.|real life]] \n\nTry to [[join in]] \n\n[[give up|forfeit]] \n
You log in to twitter and start checking the feed. \n\nYou see:\n\n[[A cute picture someone posted of themself|picture]]\n\n[[A comment that you want to respond to|witty response]]\n\n[[A chain of tweets by several different people.|group of friends]]\n
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaha\n\nYou egotistical little jackass. You've got gumption. You make it in. You get overwelmed. You leave after one drink talking to no one. You pathetic little failure.\n\n[[head to the park|park]]\n[[head to the mall|mall]]\n[[Go home and get on the internet|Log in]]\n
You can always try again tomorrow.\n\n[[~]]
You put on your skirt, your new blouse, and do your make-up. [[You look in the mirror.|Reflection]]\n\nYou look damn good. You head to the door.\nYou can do this. You can do this. [[Open the door.|Failure]]
Well, that was a failure. You're pathetic.\n\n[[Go to the mall|mall]]\n[[Go to the bar|bar]]\n[[Go home and get on the internet|Log in]]\n
What makes you think you're going to have any luck here. All you're going to do is look at clothes that you want to try on, but aren't brave enough to.\n\n[[you take a break on a bench|bench]]\n
If ze didn't talk to you, you'd still be in freaked out mode, but at least now, you'll be able to [[go to bed]].
Emily Jane (Rachel)\n\nI use two different names at different times. Deal with it.
This is a brief snapshot of what social interaction can be like for me. Some days it's much much worse. It's really draining just trying to talk to people sometimes. It helps if people make sure to include you. It helps when people reach out to you first. Thank you to all the people who have done that.\n\n[[#]]