You ask the General what he plans to do in his future. He gives an angry laugh.\n\n"The future? Oh, I don't know, kid, maybe I'll be sitting here for another twenty years! You think I want to be here? If I weren't so loyal to the troops I'd still be out there. But I'm a wanted man now, and as a man of the law, my only fate is to stay a wanted man."\n\nHe grumbles something else under his breath, though you can't quite make it out. You ask him to repeat himself.\n\n"Smokes."\n\nYou ask again.\n\n"The smokes, okay? I understand your wanting me to quit or whatever, but I get agitated without them."\n\nYou suddenly become angry. You call him out for blaming you for his mood swings and not quitting earlier, when he was asked to do so so many times by his men.\n\nThe General does not respond. He looks down at his boots.\n\nMaybe you should change the subject to the [[past|pastgen]] or the [[present|presentgen]] before things get worse...
"I'm sorry," you say. "I just wanted you to be the best fish there could be. Was that too much to ask?"\n\nYou find yourself shouting to the ceiling. "WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?"\n\nAs you recover, Robin stands back up, looking at you sharply.\n\n"There's a difference between being emotional and hamming it up," she says. "And until you find that difference, I want nothing to do with you."\n\nShe points a finger to the door. You get the picture.\n\nAs you walk out, you catch a glimpse of the guard. To your surprise, he seems to be weeping into his word search.\n\nWho says you can't act now?\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You sigh, but you pull the lighter from your pocket and hand it over.\n\n"Ha!" the General laughs. "I knew it. You think that you can make your own decisions, but when the higher-ups come into play, you hide away in your little shell and do whatever they say. You make me sick."\n\nYou realize that you've been tricked.\n\n"Get out of here!" the General yells, pointing to the door. "I don't want anything more to do with you."\n\nYou leave as he says, throwing the lighter to the ground. You get the feeling that you won't be able to look at it without thinking of today anymore.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You agree to the General's offer to dance. He gives you a small smile, and takes your hand.\n\nSurprisingly, the General is quite a talented dancer. Every move he makes is synchronized with the music, and he reads your steps and adjusts to them, never making you feel uncomfortable.\n\nThe prison room is much larger than you expected, so you move beyond the table and to the back. The music does not die out, and if you closed your eyes, you could swear it'd be a ballroom.\n\nThe song finally ends, and the General gives you a slight bow. You return the favor with a proper gesture of your own.\n\nA few seconds pass before the General gives out a hearty laugh. It echoes throughout the cell, and eventually you have to laugh as well.\n\nWhen the laughter subsides, the General approaches you, and gives you a large hug. You're not sure how to react to this, so you hug him back.\n\n"Thank you," he says. "I've forgotten just how nice it is to be able to forget about the troubles of the world for one day."\n\nYou smile, though you know full well he can't see it.\n\nThe embrace ends, and the General gives you a salute, which you return.\n\n"I look forward to the day when we get to meet again," he says. You agree, before walking out of the door.\n\n"You look happy," the guard mentions, taking a quick glance at you before returning to his word search.\n\nYou stop in your tracks. Are you happy? Is the General happy? Is there still stress on the villain that couldn't be removed with a dance and a cigarette?\n\nYou decide to stop overthinking things, and settle on a happy ending.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You ask the General how he got into the prison in the first place.\n\n"Didn't anyone tell you?" the General says. "I brought myself in in return for the safety of one of my men who was put here instead. If there's one thing I one in life, it's for my men to be happy."\n\nHe digs through his pants pockets, and pulls out another cigarette.\n\n"Funny, isn't it?" You can't tell if he's asking you or the cigarette. "So many times they've told me to quit smoking, and I still do. Guess I can't make them happy after all."\n\nHe turns to you. "That leaves you, kid. I'll ask you again; will you give me a light?"\n\nYou feel for the lighter in your pocket once again. You can't tell if it's the [[right choice|requestyes2]] or the [[wrong choice|requestno]].
You ask Mr. Stanworth for a cup of tea. The butler nods, and retreats to the shadows.\n\n"Ah, so you consider yourself dignified, do you?" the Mistress asks, almost accusingly. "Perhaps you're simply copying us to try and emulate our status instead. Yes, that must be it. Shame on you!"\n\nYou heave a sigh as Mr. Stanworth brings you your tea. You thank him.\n\n"Would you care for some [[sweeteners|sweets]] or [[no?"|nosweets]]
You get yourself mentally prepared for what could come from such a question.\n\n"Why... is a raven like a writing desk?" you spit out, bracing yourself for the impact of Mr. Literal's reaction.\n\nYou open one eye. Mr. Literal had not changed position at all, or, from the looks of it, even blinked.\n\nA bit confused, you exit through the prison door while the guard enters.\n\n"Oh, it's you. You didn't ask Literal a riddle, did you?" the guard asks.\n\nYou give a sheepish grin. The guard does not seem amused.\n\n"Now look what you've done. I've gotta send this guy to the hospital and get his heart working again. You've practically killed him. Hope you're proud."\n\nWith that, the guard hoists Literal onto his shoulder and walks out.\n\nYou wonder what he would've said if he wasn't mad.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
"Who are you closest to?" you ask.\n\n"You, at the moment," Mr. Literal responds. He still has not moved. "Sometimes I'm closest to the men who hand me my meals, or other visitors that I have. But now it's most definitely you."\n\nYou shake your head. Perhaps you should try asking him about [[politics|leftwingrightwing]] or [[music|yourjam]] instead...
How did your date with a villain go? Was it successful? A failure? Somewhere in the middle? Don't worry; you can always try again if the ending wasn't to your liking!\n\nThis game was made for the 2013 Pulse-Pounding Heart-Stopping Dating Sim Jam. Be sure to look up the hashtag "#pphsjam" on Twitter and Tumblr for more games from the jam.\n\nThanks for playing!
You take a breath, staring forward at the gigantic, grey building that stands before you. No windows, no other structures; just a big box with a solitary door. A sign to the left of the building most likely explains that you're standing at the entrance to a prison, but it's impossible for you to decipher the chicken scratch.\n\nYou glance once again at the newspaper clipping in your hand, advertising the Villain's Dating Service, a new project made in order to understand the psyche of the criminal mind. Despite arguments made by friends and family, you truly believe that you can make the life of one of these ne'er-do-wells better through the power of love.\n\nYou open the door slowly, and enter. A prison guard, dressed in the traditional blue get-up to be expected from one in his position, is studying a word search puzzle.\n\nYou politely tap him on the shoulder. The guard hides his puzzle, and stares up at you. His face is covered with stubble, as if he fell asleep in a pile of black pepper.\n\n"So what're you here for?" the man grumbles, scratching his nose.\n\nYou explain that you're interested in the dating service.\n\n"Oh, the VDS?" he mutters, digging through a stack of papers until he finds one with six small boxes printed on it. "You're the first of the day to show up, so you've got your pick of the lot. Now tell me, are you looking for a [[man|man]] or a [[woman|woman]]?"
You bring up the weather. The Mistress yawns.\n\n"Really? You would discuss the weather when we have confined ourselves to a prison cell? Couldn't you tell that we would want to avoid anything about the outside world from that?"\n\nYou bite your tongue to avoid commenting that she was the one who brought up the subject in the first place.\n\n"Mr. Stanworth, please bring our guest some refreshments," the Mistress calls out. From the shadows emerges a grey-haired man in a black suit, wielding a tray.\n\n"[[Tea|tea]] or [[coffee?"|coffee]] the Mistress asks.
You ask about Count Smalldinski's big ideas.\n\n"Well, it's... oh, wait a minute!" the count interrupts himself. "What are you trying to say?"\n\nYou stare at the small man.\n\n"Don't give me that silent treatment! I know for a fact that you're trying to prove your dominance over me. 'Big ideas,' indeed!"\n\nYou could make the argument that he's [[overreacting,|largeham]], or you could do the easier thing and [[apologize.|apology]] The choice is yours...
"How'd you get here? What was the straw that broke the camel's back?" you ask.\n\nMr. Literal does not respond, but simply digs through his pants pockets before picking up a small stick.\n\n"This one. I don't know why you had to remind me, but it was this very straw that caused my camel's spine to crack."\n\nMr. Literal reverts to his fetal position. You realize this technique isn't working very well. You might want to try that [[riddle|writingdesk]] now...
"Lucy... I've been meaning to say this for far too long," you begin. "Ever since I first saw you using that cotton gin all those months ago, you've been plaguing my mind like a horde of cotton-eating insects."\n\nRobin's eyes brighten.\n\n"I... I love you, Lucy."\n\n"OH, CAHPTAIN!"\n\nRobin jumps into your arms and gives you a big kiss on the lips. Not wanting to ruin the moment, you return it.\n\nWhen she finally leaves, Robin is still in character.\n\n"Ah... ah'm sorry, cahptain. Ah'm just... so... happy..."\n\n"That makes two of us," you respond. "Now these cotton fields will hold some happiness for you, and the man will never let you down."\n\n"Thank you, cahptain! Thank ya so much!... and scene. Nice work out there."\n\nYou blink. Robin has returned to her normal(?) state. She takes the hat and sword from you.\n\n"I haven't been able to act like that in a long time. You sure know your stuff. Wanna do another round?"\n\nThat's a good question. Do you want to do [[another round,|robinend1]] or does [[something else|improvise2]] intrigue you? The choice is yours...
You ask her about her political views. The Mistress frowns.\n\n"Opinions don't serve anyone well, we've seen. That's why we never really care for discussions of politics. It just seems a waste of time, wondering who will be bringing the world down next."\n\nYou wonder what the line between ingenious and ignorant is.\n\n"Mr. Stanworth, would you please fetch our guest something to drink?" the Mistress calls out. From the shadows emerges a grey-haired man in a black suit, wielding a tray.\n\n"Would you like [[coffee|coffee]] or [[tea|tea]] to drink?" the Mistress asks.
"Ah, don't worry your cute little head over it!" you say. "Such is life here among the fields of cotton."\n\n"Oh, cahptain, yah're so raght!" Robin responds. You wince as the accent becomes more and more powerful. "Ahll this time ah've been thinking of only the mahn... but now, ah know that ah've got you as well, cahptain!"\n\nYour mind draws a blank. You think here is where an [["I love you"|captainend]] would work well, but maybe it's best to just [[wing it|improvise]] instead...
"Always make an ass of ourselves!" you finish. Robin applauds.\n\n"See, now you've got it! I knew you could be a great actor if you just got some practice in!" she says. "Now, do you want to go deeper into the realm of comedy with [[improvisation,|improvise2]] or would you rather learn about [[drama|drama]] instead?"
You enter the prison door. A tall, elegantly dressed woman sits at the far end of a decorated table, a saucer and tea cup on each side. Classical music is playing, though you can not find a source of it.\n\n"Ah, we have visitors," the woman says. You look around, and find that there are no other people.\n\n"Oh, please forgive us. We use the royal sense of the word. We... er, I, am the Mistress. A pleasure to meet you."\n\nThe woman stands up, and walks toward you. You look her over.\n\nHer blonde hair is tied up into a tight bun that sits atop her head. Her dress is black, and very cordial. She wears flats and stockings that accompany the getup. You can't tell if she looks very boring or very lovely, so you settle with somewhere in between.\n\nShe extends a hand. Should you [[shake it|shakehand]] or [[kiss it?|kisshand]] The choice is yours...
You look at the General. While not quite the "old man" he says he is, you give in and let him have his music.\n\n"Ha!" the General laughs. "I knew it. You think that you can make your own decisions, but when the higher-ups come into play, you hide away in your little shell and do whatever they say. You make me sick."\n\nYou realize that you've been tricked.\n\n"Get out of here!" the General yells, pointing to the door. "I don't want anything more to do with you."\n\nYou leave as he says, throwing the lighter to the ground. You get the feeling that you won't be able to look at it without thinking of today anymore.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You shake your head no.\n\n"Oh, come now," the General says. "Consider it an old man's last request. Let me hear some music again."\n\nGiven the chance to reconsider your options, will you [[let him have his music|requestyes]], or [[stay true to your first choice?|requestno]] The choice is yours...
You admit that you'd like to do some improvisation. Robin's grin is wider than ever.\n\n"There's nothing I love more than a good improv sketch!" she says. "Well, as long as it's properly timed."\n\nYou wittle away the hours with a fast-paced discussion between a spatula and a plumber. It soon degrades into vulgar humor, but you're having too much fun to care about anyone hearing you.\n\nWhen the time comes, you give Robin a hug, which she returns. As you leave the prison, the only thing you can think of is who you'll be the next time you meet.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You look back at the letter.\n\n"Readying operation... Bowbot online! Transmitting!" you read aloud.\n\nFrom the corner, the robot stands up. It is almost sickeningly pink, a shade too light for even the biggest fanatics of the color. It stares at you with swirly eyes, also pink. A quintet of wheels (fortunately black) maneuver the clunky android around.\n\n"Greetings, Insert Operator Name Here!" Bowbot speaks, in an oddly non-monotonous tone. "Beginning dating simulation in three... two... one... Hello! I see you've brought me flowers. Would you care to tell me what they are?"\n\nYou're going to have to improvise. [[Roses?|bowbot2]] [[Violets?|bowbotbadend]] What would a robot like this like?
"Opal," you respond with a slight grin. "You deserve such a treasure."\n\n"Aw, you're too kind!" Bowbot says, putting the fictional earrings on her fictional ears. Despite this, you still find her to look more attractive.\n\nAfter a meal of invisible steaks, Bowbot looks at you.\n\n"What better way to end a meal then with dessert?" she asks. "Go ahead and choose whatever you want."\n\nYou open your mouth, but then realize that she hasn't provided any options. Your mind races.\n\n[[Cake?|bowbotbadend]] [[Pie?|bowbotbadend]] [[Ice cream?|bowbotbadend]] [[Bars?|bowbotbadend]] Or [[something else entirely|bowbotgoodend]] may be necessary...
You take pity on the count, and remove the thimble from on top of him.\n\n"Ha ha! You are a fool!" Count Smalldinski shouts before leaping directly into your shirt.\n\nYou feel as if a plague of red ants is nibbling away at your chest. You try to brush the count away, but to no avail.\n\nEventually, the pain is too much for you to handle, and you surrender. The count reemerges, leaping out from under your right armpit.\n\n"That will teach you to torture the great Count Smalldinski! You shall be my servant until the end of time!"\n\nFortunately, the end of time only means until the prison closes. That being said, the few hours you spent at the beck and call of an insect-sized man are not ones you would care to relive.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You once again call out the count's behavior, emphasizing the usage of the phrase "huge pain."\n\n"No! NO! I've had it, I tell you!" A tiny speck of pink appears on the floor, what you can only assume is Smalldinski's rage-induced anger on his face.\n\n"You like calling me out? Well, now you're in for some BIG trouble!"\n\nFrom underneath the bottlecap, Count Smalldinski pulls out a safety pin.\n\n"Soon, you shall learn to fear the name of Count Smalldinski!"\n\nThe count rushes you down, pin in hand. He thrusts it into your exposed ankle.\n\nThe pain is surprisingly harsh. The pin slashes at your flesh, leaving a slight trail of blood, though a majority of the damage is only skin-deep.\n\n"Take this! And that! And that!" You hear the count crying out in a mad tone with every cut he makes.\n\nYou bend down, and muster the energy to flick the count and his pin away. As he cries out in fury, you run out of the prison cell, in search of a bandage and a drink. Something tells you that both would be much appreciated after what you've been through.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
"Ah... master, you've returned!" you say.\n\n"Wait, what?" Robin says. You're a bit surprised to see her out of character, but you don't let that stop your train of thought.\n\n"I, the captain, was placed here by Goathand to see that this farm would be the first of many to suffer under the paper-eating wrath of the master!" you proclaim. "Now you shall be the first to obey our bearded brethren!"\n\n"Yeah! What he said!" you quickly add, switching to your Goathand voice.\n\nRobin is too shocked to say anything, but simply walks off of the stage.\n\nYou pay her no mind, though. You're far too busy writing the next hit screenplay.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
"How is it in the nuthouse?" you ask.\n\n"There are nuts here?" Mr. Literal asks. He gets up, inspecting the walls carefully. "Finally, some real food. It's been far too long..."\n\nYou're getting a bit upset. You want to tell him that he's [[making you mad|upthewalls]], but maybe it's best to just change the subject back to [[relationships|closestto]] or [[his appearance|trainwreck]] instead...
"Are you left-wing or right-wing?" you ask Mr. Literal.\n\nThe man stares at you blankly.\n\n"How... how did you know...?"\n\nFrom beneath his arms emerge two gigantic wings, akin to those of an eagle. Waving to you, he flies out of the building, his mighty wings smashing the ceiling above him.\n\nYou stare upwards, your jaw agape. Somehow, you think that this is the best result you'll be getting from a conversation with this guy.\n\nIt's not love, but it's just as fascinating.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You pull the rose from your pocket. Miraculously, it's just as tall as ever.\n\n"Foul demon!" Count Smalldinski yells. "Such an oversized blossom will be of no use to me! Rid of it this instant!"\n\nYou roll your eyes, but yank off a majority of the stem. What is left is merely the blossom.\n\n"Oh... hm..." the count mutters, looking over the bloom. "It's lovelier than I gave you credit for. I accept it."\n\nYou consider it a thank-you, albeit a poorly worded one.\n\n"Now, then!" the count says, leaping onto an overturned bottle cap. "Shall I tell you of my [[big ideas?"|bigidea]]\n\nYou don't like the sound of that. Maybe it'd be best to [[stay small|smallidea]] instead...
You open the prison door. Before you sits a bespectacled man in the fetal position. He wears a red shirt and worn blue jeans. His black hair, messy and unkempt, covers his scalp as if a mop had fallen on his head.\n\n"What's shaking?" you ask.\n\n"My insides..." the man responds. "They encircle my body in a race through space and time to make sure that I can continue living. Furthermore, a few cells over, a scientist is working on creating an artificial whirlwind. The insides of his prison cell are now shaking."\n\nYou understand perfectly well why they call him Mr. Literal.\n\nYou wonder what to ask next. [[Relationships,|closestto]] [[his incarceration,|nuthouse]] [[his appearance?|trainwreck]] The choice is yours...
Once again, you slam the thimble down. You do it again, and again, the count's cries of agony louder every time.\n\nEventually, he stops shouting. You raise the thimble, and find a small red blotch on the ground before you.\n\nIt then hits you: you've just murdered Count Smalldinski.\n\nYou scoop up his remnants, and place them in the thimble. You then take a seat in the prison cell; you get the feeling that you'll be the one staying there from now on.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You take the Mistress' hand and shake it. Her shake is not at all firm.\n\n"Oh... we expected better, to be frank. One would expect to know what to do when a lady extends her hand."\n\nYou curse under your breath as the Mistress returns to her seat.\n\n"So, what shall we talk about? [[Weather|weather]] and [[politics|politics]] are always popular topics."
"Have stupid-looking teeth?" you say, questioning even yourself at this point.\n\nRobin gets back up, smacks her face with one hand, and points to the door with the other. You get the picture, and leave.\n\nAs you leave, you pass the guard and try the teeth line again. He scowls at you before returning to his word search.\n\nYou get the feeling you weren't cut out for comedy.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You pull the thimble out, and place it over the count.\n\n"Curses! You've apprehended me!" Smalldinski shouts. You get the feeling that he's trying to ram his way out of the thimble prison, though it only serves to provide a slight tickling sensation on your thumb.\n\n"Very well, I surrender," the count grumbles. "Let me free, and I shall permit myself to do whatever it is you wish."\n\nYou get the feeling it may [[be a trap,|thimble2]] but you almost feel sorry for him. You could [[remove the thimble|countend1]] if you wished. The choice is yours...
You're unsure that a dance would be the proper course of action, so you politely decline. The General gives you a stare, but stops after a moment.\n\nThe music fills the room. It would have been good for dancing, but you've made up your mind, and there's no changing it now.\n\nWhen the song ends, the General lets out a small sigh.\n\n"Haven't heard that song in a long while. Almost forgot about it. Thanks for letting me hear it."\n\nA brief silence.\n\n"Can I talk to you about my past? I'm feeling a little nostalgic. No tricks, don't worry. After all you've done for me, that'd be a low blow, even for an incarcerated man."\n\nYou're intrigued about the [[good old days|pastgengood]], but something tells you it [[might not end well.|genend1]] The choice is yours...
"Not on my watch!" you say, withdrawing your rapier. "Your goats will not tarnish this sacred, cotton-filled ground!"\n\nYou swing your sword at nothing, crying out in agony as your second character.\n\n"Curses! Foiled again, presumably!" you say as Goathand. "Mark my words, captain, I will most likely have some sort of revenge at one time or another!"\n\nFor the briefest of moments, you see a tall man with a goat on his left arm exiting the stage. You rub your eyes, and see nothing there. You assume it must have been the shadows.\n\nYour thought process is interrupted by a swift slap to the face from Robin.\n\n"That's for ruining one of my favorite plays of all time!"\n\nJust as suddenly, she gives you a quick peck on the lips.\n\n"And that's for writing one of my new favorite plays of all time."\n\nThe rest of your date is spent adding Goathand to other plays in Robin's repetoire. You figure that the slap-kiss ratio is worth it, ultimately.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You sigh, but remove the thimble.\n\n"Thank you," the count says. "I trust that this will not happen again."\n\nYou promise, though your fingers are crossed.\n\n"Now, then. Let's talk business. Would you care to hear about my [[big ideas|bigidea]] or my [[small ideas?|smallidea]]"
"Um... oh, no! It's the villainous Goathand Mcgee!" you cry out, pointing behind you.\n\nRobin looks at you oddly, but realizes that she doesn't want to act out of character.\n\n"Goathahnd! Ah knew it was you who was behahnd ahll this!" she says.\n\n"Er... yes! It was me! All along! Who did the thing you are accusing me of!" you mumble in a low voice. "And now, Lucy, you will be at the beck and call of my... hideous... goat army?"\n\n"Oh, no! Hahlp me, cahptain!" Robin shouts, turning to you.\n\nYou're in charge of the play now. Will you have a [[happy ending|goathandgood]] or a [[tragic ending?|goathandbad]] The choice is yours...
Villain's Dating Service
You ask about comedy.\n\n"Oh, that's easy. All you've got to do is be funny!" Robin says. "Here, let's try out one of my favorites, The Donkey's Shame."\n\nRobin gets on all fours, and lets out a mighty bray.\n\n"Life is hard for the donkey," she says. "All we're good for is carrying things on our backs. And through that, we..."\n\nShe signals to you. You swallow, and think of how donkeys can be funny. [[Big teeth?|comedyfail]] [[Stupid name?|comedywin]] The choice is yours...
You accuse the count of overreacting, the phrase "large ham" being used.\n\n"Now you're just being insensitive!" Smalldinski complains. "I'll tell you what; I'll give you one more chance to apologize, and maybe, just maybe, I can find it in my heart to forgive you."\n\nYou feel insulted, but you know this is the last opportunity you'll have to win the count's forgiveness. Do you [[forgive him,|apology]] or continue to [[mock him?|hugepain]] The choice is yours...
You decide to let the General tell you about his past.\n\n"He was a... a good kid, for the most part," the General says as he stares at the grey ceiling. "Might not have been the greatest of troops, but he worked with me, so in my mind he had to be one of the greatest, didn't he."\n\nYou're unsure if that was a question or not. You decide to let him continue.\n\n"One day he went to this prison for a similar reason that you did. He wanted to visit a good friend that had been left behind. He opened the door, and his friend ran out. He got sentenced for assisting with the escape of a vigilante.\n\n"When I heard the news, I did what any good general would have done. I told him that I was the one that sent him there to accomplish that mission. They gave me the sentence, and let him go free."\n\nThe General stops speaking, and his gaze turns from the ceiling to the floor.\n\nYou hear a soft, almost nonexistent whimpering. You realize that the General is weeping.\n\nYou know that you could [[console him|genend2]] or [[tell him to tough it out.|genend3]] The choice is yours...
You ask about the count's smaller-scale ideas. His bowtie rustles slightly; you assume that he's scratching his chin.\n\n"I must say, I haven't thought of such ideas," Smalldinski admits. "I see the big picture alone. Such is fitting for a man like myself."\n\nYou question his use of the word "man", but keep that thought in your mind.\n\n"These... small-scale ideas, as you call them. Would you help me come up with some?" the count asks, looking at you.\n\nYou're taken aback. The count wouldn't do something like this without a way of taking you down.\n\nWill you [[trust him,|smallidea2]] or will you [[not?|smallidea3]] The choice is yours...
You stare blankly at Robin. She frowns.\n\n"Well, I guess you've got something to learn about theatre," Robin says after a few moments. "So let's go through the steps."\n\nShe claps her hands. The curtains open to reveal a pair of masks, one smiling and one frowning.\n\n"Now, then, let's begin. Shall we learn about [[comedy|comedy]] or [[drama|drama]] today?"
You ask Mr. Stanworth for a cup of coffee. He gives you a slight nod, and retreats to the shadows.\n\n"Coffee, we've found, is nothing more than a poor excuse to make sure one can stay awake. You must find us boring, don't you, to say you'd like to drink that whilst speaking to us!"\n\nYou stare at the Mistress blankly. Mr. Stanworth brings you the coffee at the exact right time before events become too awkward.\n\n"Would you care for some [[sweeteners|sweets]] or [[no?"|nosweets]]
"A woman, huh?" the guard says, folding over the piece of paper. "Let's see who we've got for you.\n\n"There's the Mistress. She's a bit of a class act; she even turned herself in for a crime she didn't commit. Said she liked the atmosphere. You'll get along with her the easiest out of everyone, I'd say.\n\n"Then there's Robin Hoode. Arrested for harassment when someone said they didn't like theatre. She may seem to be a bit loopy, but she's watching and studying your every move. Messing up with her will probably be a big mistake.\n\n"And then there's..." the guard stops mid-sentence, frantically digging through his sheets.\n\n"Huh... could've sworn we had a third woman sign up, but the cell listed here is unoccupied. I suppose you could check it for yourself, but... I wouldn't recommend it. Just saying.\n\n"So who's it gonna be? [[The Mistress|mistress]], [[Robin Hoode|robin]], or the [[empty cell|bowbot]]? Or would you rather look for a [[man|man]] after all?"
Not willing to leave a good story unfinished, you ask Robin if she'd like to continue the "production" of Cotton Ball In the Wind. She gives you a smile, along with your props.\n\nThe next few hours are dedicated to telling the story of Lucy Twostep as she toils in the cotton fields for the man, and the kind-hearted captain who falls in love with her. While Robin's accent gets grating at times, you feel somewhat relaxed and comfortable sharing the stage with her.\n\nAlternatively, you could just be in it for the kissing scenes. But it's still art at the end of the day.\n\nWhen the curtains finally close, you shake hands with Robin and leave. You may not have entirely gone on a date, but you do feel like you've made an impact in one way or another.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You confess that you'd like to finish Hopeless Harry and the Dying Goldfish Society. Robin nods, and hands you a script from the backstage.\n\nYou're entranced by the story, putting every ounce of your being into the story of a troubled young man and his aquatic friends. Before long, other prisoners pile in to the room and take a seat, watching in awe.\n\nWhen the time comes, you once again deliver the "I love you" line in a flawless fashion. Robin stage-dies, the curtains close, and the prisoners erupt in thunderous applause.\n\nYou step out from behind the curtain with Robin and take a bow. You deserve it, after all.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
Knowing full well that you don't want to risk anything bad happening to the prison, you exit the room, leaving Bowbot unactivated.\n\nThe guard looks up from his word search.\n\n"I told you it was empty. So, now what are you gonna do?"\n\nYou step over the table, and take a seat next to the prison guard.\n\nYou point at where the word "conundrum" is.\n\n"Oh, that's where it is! Geez, I've been looking for that word for hours. Thanks."\n\nYou give him a nod.\n\nThe next few hours are spent sitting next to the guard, circling words. It may not be a relationship, but there have been worse ways to spend an afternoon.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You agree to help the count come up with some smaller ideas. You can't tell, but you almost think that the count is giving you a small smile.\n\nThe next few hours are spend coming up with lists of activities that can be done in a prison cell to benefit society instead of crush it. You realize that Smalldinski's size is perfect for navigating the human body to remove viruses, or sneaking under hard-to-reach areas to grab lost items.\n\nWhen the list is complete, the count seems like a new man. He hops up to you, and brushes your cheek. You smile, knowing that he planted a kiss on it.\n\nYou wave good-bye to Count Smalldinski, and walk out. You're unsure if the count will keep up this happier side or if it's just a ruse, but you're feeling optimistic today.\n\nAfter all, it only makes sense that such a small guy should have a big heart.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You admit that you're not terribly good at coming up with little ideas yourself. The count gives you a wicked little smile.\n\n"If that's the case... then why don't we work together?" Smalldinski offers. Despite your better judgment, you agree.\n\nOver the next few weeks, Smalldinski's ideas and your size create a near-unstoppable force. You free the villains from prison, destroy all forces trying to stop you, and eventually form an evil empire.\n\nBut at least you've finally found love.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
Aware that you're not in the mood to hear about the bonding of small objects anymore, you open the door and leave. Smalldinski pays you no mind; he's far too busy expressing his insane ideas to himself.\n\nAs you exit the room, you find yourself staring at the ground, if only because your neck is stuck that way from peering at the count for such an extended period of time.\n\nOn the prison floor sits, of all things, a large collection of sunflower seeds.\n\nYou approach the prison guard, and ask for a piece of tape. He absentmindedly hands you the roll, his attention focused primarily on his word search.\n\nYou bind the seeds together. It forms a small clump.\n\nYou sense a mysterious power emanating from the ball. A twisted smile appears on your face.\n\nMaybe the count wasn't wrong at all...\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You politely clap. Robin bows.\n\n"Oh, would you care to join me?" she asks, pointing at the stage. "I'm sure you're an excellent patron of the arts yourself."\n\nBefore you get a chance to respond, she grabs your hand and hoists you upon the stage. She pushes a bowler hat and a rapier into your hands.\n\n"All right, so we're doing the third act of Cotton Ball In the Wind," Robin says. "I'll be playing the role of Lucy, and you play the role of the captain."\n\nImmediately, she shifts into her role in the performance.\n\n"Oh, Cahptain, ah'm so happy to see ya!" Robin near-shouts, her accent unidentifiable. "It's been so lawng and hawd wahkin' fah the man every DAY!"\n\nShe looks at you with anticipation. You could either [[follow her lead|captain]] or [[improvise.|improvise]] The choice is yours...
You reach for some nearby cream. The Mistress shakes her head.\n\n"One would expect someone to be able to relish the pure, untarnished flavor of a beverage without relying on artificial additions," the Mistress says. "Shame on you."\n\nYou pour more cream in, if only to spite her.\n\nThe two of you sit in solemn silence, drinking your respective beverages. The music does not help.\n\nThis continues for [[ten minutes,|mistressend]] until...
"I love you," you say to the metaphorical dying fish.\n\nRobin does not answer. You're tempted to check if she's still alive, but she pops back up after a few seconds.\n\n"You're a natural!" she says, giving you a thumbs-up. "I never met anyone who could put that much raw emotion into that play. Do you wanna try doing the [[rest of it,|robinend2]] or are you interested in [[comedy|comedy]] instead?"
"Tiramisu!" you finally shout after a long period of deliberation.\n\nBowbot stares at you. You fear that your fast thinking had finally failed...\n\n"You just read my mind. I can't believe how much we're alike!" Bowbot responds. "Two tiramisus will be all, waiter!"\n\nYou heave a sigh of relief. After consuming the dessert and paying for the bill (knowing full well that it'd impress your date to cover the bill and leave a tip!), Bowbot rises from her chair. You follow suit.\n\n"Thank you for such a lovely evening. I can't wait to see you again!"\n\nBowbot gives you a big hug, which you return. Her touch is rather relaxing, and not at all metallic.\n\nYou wave good-bye and walk out of the prison cell, a big smile on your face.\n\n"Wait, was there someone in there?" the guard asks you as you exit the building. You don't pay him any mind, though; you're too busy looking forward to your next date.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
"Beef," you respond. "Not original, though still very tasty."\n\n"Are you familiar with this restaurant's food already?" Bowbot asks. You say that you're not, but you're going on a hunch with your choice.\n\n"Oooh, how bold! Now I simply have to order it!"\n\nAn invisible bowl of fruit is laid out on the table, and Bowbot orders two steaks. Oddly enough, she knows how you like yours.\n\nWhen she finishes ordering, she turns to you.\n\n"Oh, jewelry! You shouldn't have!" she says. You dig through your pockets, before reminding yourself that it's still not a real situation once again.\n\n"I wonder what it could be! [[Emeralds?|bowbotbadend]] [[Rubies?|bowbotbadend]] [[Topaz?|bowbotbadend]] [[Opal?|bowbot5]] Oh, I can't stand it! Please, tell me!"
Following the guard's directions, you arrive at a large, undecorated door. With another deep breath, you open the door and enter the room.\n\nBefore you sits a small table, a lone, lit candle the only decoration. Across from you is a large, bearded man, eyeing you with deathly seriousness. A large, green helmet rests on his head, a gigantic yellow star adorned on its front. You catch a glimpse at his green jacket, fully decorated with all manners of badges. His pants are also green, though his large boots are standard, brown army boots.\n\nBetween his lips rests an unlit cigarette. He points to it, not taking his eyes off of you.\n\nYou know that you could either [[light it|cigyes]] or [[leave it be.|cigno]] The choice is yours...
"Roses," you respond. "Other blooms are obtrusive and trite."\n\n"I agree!" Bowbot responds. If she had a mouth, you get the feeling that she'd be smiling at you.\n\n"I think we should start our meal with a bowl of fruit. What would you like?"\n\nYou glance down at a menu before realizing that it doesn't exist.\n\n"I'd like either [[apples|bowbotbadend]] or [[oranges.|bowbot3]] Which would you like?"
"Oranges," you say. "But other tangy fruits would do just as nicely."\n\n"Oh, you think so? I've never been a fan of too much of a sour taste, so I stick to oranges for my citrus cravings."\n\nYou nod in agreement, before realizing that you're still talking to a robot.\n\n"Ah, here comes the waiter," Bowbot says, giving the order for a bowl of oranges to a nonexistent maitre'd.\n\n"Now, on to our main course. Looks like they have [[chicken,|bowbotbadend]] [[beef,|bowbot4]] and [[salmon|bowbotbadend]] today. I'll have what you're having, so it's all up to you."
You politely shake your head no, and take a sip of your drink.\n\n"When one offers you their goods and services, it is rather rude to decline," the Mistress says, wagging a finger. "Surely you would know this."\n\nYou take another sip of tea, if only to stop yourself from shouting at the woman.\n\nThe two of you sit in solemn silence, drinking your respective beverages. The music does not help.\n\nThis continues for [[ten minutes,|mistressend]] until...
"A man, huh?" the guard says, folding the paper in half. "Let's see who we've got for you.\n\n"Well, there's the General. A man hellbent on loyalty to the troops and the dignity of his army, which led to his downfall when he was sent here to save a convicted comrade. He may go a bit easy on you, but don't get cocky; he's a military man, after all, and he won't accept anything but the utmost respect.\n\n"We've also got Count Smalldinski. Despite his size, he's a big dreamer, though his temper is about as short as he is. I'd recommend not talking about his size, if you could avoid it.\n\n"And then there's Mr. Literal, who wound up here after being told to steal home during a baseball game. You should be able to guess what you're dealing with here.\n\n"So who's it gonna be? [[The General|general]], [[Count Smalldinski|count]], or [[Mr. Literal|literal]]? Or would you rather look for a [[woman|woman]] after all?"
You enter the prison room. You don't see anybody, so you enter.\n\n"Ack! Watch your step, vile creature!"\n\nYou look around, but you can't find the source of the noise.\n\n"I'm down here, you higher-up heathen!"\n\nYou peer downwards. What looks like a pudgy PEZ dispenser is madly hopping about. You crouch down to look at him closer.\n\nA small head pops out of a standard bowtie, which is much too large for him. Stubby legs pop out of the bottom; if he has arms, they are not readily visible.\n\n"Why have you disturbed the peace of yours truly, the great Count Smalldinski?" the little man shouts. "You shall learn to kneel before me in due time!"\n\nHe looks you up and down, though he almost topples over when he gets to the higher places.\n\n"Very well... I'll let you spend some quality time with me. Do you come bearing gifts?"\n\nYou check your pockets. You find a [[thornless rose|rose]] and a [[thimble,|thimble]] but not much else. The choice is yours...
You feel that it might not be best to have the General divulge such information at this time. Without even saying a word, he nods, knowing full well what you would have said.\n\n"No, it's fine," he says. "I understand how it might be a bit too much for you to handle... or for me to handle. Did you mean it like that?"\n\nYou prepare an answer, but he stops you before you can deliver it.\n\n"No, I don't really care. I'm just happy that I got to talk to somebody after all this time who doesn't treat me like I'm just a war veteran. You treated me like a friend, and I thank you for that."\n\nThe General stands up, and much to your surprise, offers you a salute. You stand in shock for a few moments, before regaining your composure and saluting back. He smiles.\n\n"Come back any time," the General says as you exit through the door.\n\nYou get the feeling that you'll take him up on his offer.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You kneel down where the General sits, and give him a warm embrace. His beard tickles your face, but you ignore it and keep holding him.\n\n"I did it for him... I did it all for him..." the General says between sobs. "I just want him to be happy..."\n\nYou assure him that he is. The General returns the hug.\n\nYou stand in near-silence for a few minutes as the sobs from the General die down.\n\nYou let him go. The General gives you a smile.\n\n"I never knew... I never knew just how much emotion I could display in front of my men. But you... you're different."\n\nThe General glances left and right. You ponder asking him what he's looking for, but your process is interrupted when he plants a chaste kiss on your lips.\n\n"Don't tell anyone about this!" the General warns. You swear not to.\n\nYou share a salute with the General before exiting. While a little worried that he may have gone overboard with you, you're satisfied knowing that he isn't uncomfortable with displaying emotions around others anymore.\n\nWith a wave to the guard (who does not respond as he is busily studying his word search), you leave the prison, knowing full well that the VDS was a success.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You never were good with consoling people. You tell the General to stop crying.\n\nThe General realizes what he's doing, and blinks furiously. Any sign that he was crying is completely gone.\n\n"How inconsiderate for a man to weep for doing the right thing!" he says. "I must thank you for bringing me back to Earth."\n\nHe offers you a salute, which you return. You feel like you are the commanding officer in this case.\n\n"You've helped open my eyes, and for that, I'm grateful. I don't think I'll need your help anymore, but..."\n\nThe General gives you a genuine smile.\n\n"Come back any time."\n\nYou return the smile, and say that you'll be back soon enough. The General nods, and gives another salute as you exit through the door to the outside world, knowing full well he should be coming with you.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
Despite the consistent remarks from the guard, you stride to the empty prison cell, and open it.\n\nThe room is empty, yes, but only for the most part. You notice a robot in the corner, with a small piece of paper planted on top of it.\n\nYou pick the paper up, and read its contents.\n\n"To whom it may concern,\n\nBefore you stands Bowbot, the world's first android made specifically for the purpose of dating. Unfortunately, there are still some bugs in her system, but if you know how to speak with her, she has proven to be quite the relationship partner.\n\nI do warn you, however, that she is a very delicate machine. Any remarks given to her that do not meet her liking will be met with imminent destruction.\n\nI have not detected a certain pattern with what she accepts as a good answer, though I know that there is one. If you can find it, please inform me! My personal information is-"\n\nSome of the letter is smudged.\n\n"If you wish to work with Bowbot, say the following statement aloud to her. Good luck!"\n\nYou look at the letter, and back at the robot. You could either [[activate her|bowbotstart]] or [[get out of there.|bonus]] The choice is yours...
You realize that words hurt, and you apologize to the count.\n\n"Hmph. Accepted, though it'd have been much better if you considered them before opening your mouth in the first place," Smalldinski grumbles. You bite your tongue to avoid another confrontation.\n\n"Anyways. My big ideas are as follows: obtain every sunflower seed in the universe, and bond them together to make a larger sunflower seed, which will be used to crush the buildings that house those who dare to defy me. Obtain every raisin in the universe..."\n\nSomething tells you these ideas will be fairly similar. You could ask about [[smaller ideas|smallidea]] instead, or just [[leave.|countend2]] The choice is yours...
You give a nod. The General returns it, and flicks a switch on the machine.\n\nA slow, melancholy waltz plays from the radio. Despite the appearance of the radio, the sound is remarkably crisp, as if it was being played in concert.\n\nThe General stands up, throwing the cigarette butt behind him and offering you a hand.\n\n"I know this may be a bit too sudden, but... would you care to dance?" he asks. "I haven't heard this song in a long, long time, and I'm feeling nostalgic."\n\nHe seems sincere about his offer. Will you [[accept|danceyes]] or [[decline?|danceno]] The choice is yours...
You stick to your gut, and insist that it would be a bad idea. The General gives you a smirk.\n\n"I like you. You don't back away from what you believe in, even when under pressure. My men could have learned a lot from you."\n\nThe General leans back in his chair, a look of satisfaction on his face.\n\n"My men... how long has it been since I've seen them? Not that you'd know, I just..." the General, to your great surprise, haas a bit of trouble getting back to his train of thought. You seem pleased with yourself, knowing that he has fallen for you ever so slightly.\n\n"Well, I suppose I could tell you about the old days if you wanted to. No tricks this time; it's your choice."\n\nYou're intrigued about the [[good old days|pastgengood]], but something tells you it [[might not end well.|genend1]] The choice is yours...
"What's your jam?" you ask. Mr. Literal retreats to the corner of the room, and returns holding a small bottle.\n\n"I prefer these strawberry preserves, actually," he says, waving the bottle slightly. "They're good on prison toast. Don't tell anyone, though; they'll confiscate it if they find out."\n\nYou realize that this is getting nowhere. Perhaps you should try asking about [[politics|leftwingrightwing]] instead...
"Geez, you're a trainwreck," you say.\n\n"Oh, I wouldn't say so," Mr. Literal responds, pointing his finger to the right.\n\nA duo of train cars come crashing through the prison walls, slamming into each other.\n\n"That's a trainwreck," he utters. As soon as he says so, the cars vanish, and the walls return to normal.\n\nYou get the feeling that there's something special about Mr. Literal, though you can't say for sure. You're probably best off asking him more questions for now.\n\nTrying to think of topics that would make his powers noticable, you come up with [[why he's incarcerated|camelback]] and [[giving him a riddle.|writingdesk]] The choice is yours...
You open the prison door. Oddly enough, the room itself is not the typical grey, gloomy atmosphere you were expecting. It's made up to show the appearance of a stage, complete with a red curtain and a row of seats for an audience.\n\nA figure stands on the stage, delivering what you can only assume is a monologue. You ignore it, instead focusing your attention at the young woman who is delivering it.\n\nShe is dressed in a lime green windbreaker covering a black shirt. Her tights are also lime green; she wears no shoes. Atop her head rests an orange hat, folded like a paper boat.\n\n"Oh!"\n\nYou recover your senses. She has noticed you.\n\n"Do you know... why they call me Robin Hoode?" she asks you. You shake your head no.\n\n"Because I take from the real world, and give... to the stage!" she responds.\n\nShe stands still for a few moments, expecting some kind of response. As you're the only audience member there, it's up to you to either [[applaud|applause]] or [[not.|noapplause]] The choice is yours...
You ask about drama.\n\n"Drama is where you want to maintain a serious tone to make the audience feel the emotions of your character," Robin explains. "Let's try an example. How about Hopeless Harry and the Dying Goldfish Society?"\n\nBefore you can get a word in, Robin lies flat on the ground, barely moving. She urges you to come closer, and as you do so, she begins mumbling something.\n\n"Harry... I've gotta say... you were one of the finest fish owners I've ever seen. And despite everything that's happened... I hope you remember... how much we've cared for you... and how much you've... cared... for us..."\n\nShe stops speaking. Your mind races with memories of daytime soap operas. You know that the only lines people say in situations like these are [["I love you"|dramawin]] and [["I'm sorry",|dramafail]] but you can't tell which one would work best. The choice is yours...\n
You gently take the Mistress' hand, and plant a delicate kiss on it.\n\n"Ah, we're most impressed!" the Mistress says, giving you a small smile. "It seems that your manners aren't totally lacking after all.\n\nYou can't tell if you're being praised or insulted, so you simply watch as the Mistress returns to her seat.\n\n"Well, then, you've come all the way here, so please, have a seat and some conversation. [[Politics|politics]] and the [[weather|weather]] are always good starters."
"No, stop that! You're driving me up the walls!" you complain, before realizing what you're saying.\n\n"Well, if you insist!" Mr. Literal shouts, pulling out a car from seemingly nowhere. "Hop on in!"\n\nYou step inside. Mr. Literal glares at you. You roll your eyes, but exit the car and jump inside.\n\n"Much better," he says, before running the car into the wall.\n\nAs you expected, the car defies standard physics and navigates the walls themselves.\n\nUnfortunately, you didn't say anything about the ceiling.\n\nThe car crashes into it, and you find yourself staring down at the floor.\n\nYou would wonder if there was a moral to be learnt, but you're a bit busy being crushed by a falling automobile to do so.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You ask about his past. The General scoffs.\n\n"I should have known. You're all the same, asking about what happened in the past. Are you expecting some sort of war story that you can share with your friends? Would you rather I go through the trials and tribulations that a lifetime at war has given me?"\n\nYou try to interrupt, but the General refuses to listen.\n\n"It's all because of the cigarette, isn't it? I'm some war-torn hero, and that's all I am to you. Not a human being, but a walking museum."\n\nThe General points a finger to the prison door.\n\n"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You may have a bit of my respect, but if I'm not going to be treated like a human being, then you aren't either. Good-bye."\n\nYou sigh, but exit through the door and return to the main entrance.\n\n"Sounds like you got on his bad side. I guess that we were mistaken about the VDS, eh?" the guard says, not looking up from his word search. "Well, have a good day."\n\nYou get the feeling that the chances of that happening are slim.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You pull out a lighter from your pocket, and click it a few times until a small flame emerges. You place the flame at the General's cigarette until it is lit.\n\n"Heh... thanks," the General mutters, taking a slow drag. "It's been far too long since I've been able to properly enjoy a good cig. They go by far too quickly on the battlefield, and I've used up all the matches this place had to offer."\n\nHe extends a hand to you. You reach out and accept the offer. His grip is firm, though it was to be expected.\n\n"They call me the General, but you probably knew that already. Thanks for agreeing to meet up with me for this."\n\nHe lets go. You rub your hand gently to restore feeling to it. You could swear the General is chuckling at this, but maybe it's just you.\n\n"How about a little music?" the General asks, pointing to an old radio to his left.\n\nMusic would [[be nice|musicyes]], but maybe you'd [[rather not.|musicno]] The choice is yours...
You give your answer. Bowbot's swirly eyes retreat into its head, and are replaced by a small timer. The number "10" stares at you.\n\nYou get the feeling that you've said something wrong. Not thinking about anything else, you run out the door and out of the prison, ignoring the call of the guard.\n\nA few seconds later, a great boom is heard from the prison. You deduce that Bowbot must have self-destructed.\n\nEven though you knew it was a risky move, you still feel a little guilty for letting the robot and its creator down. The feeling sticks with you as you walk back home.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!
You say nothing, but force the thimble down once more. While you feel nothing, the count gives a trembling shout. It appears that you've caused the equivalent of an earthquake for him.\n\n"No more, no more!" Smalldinski cries. "I now know just how powerful you are! Please do not make me undergo such trials again!"\n\nYou cock an eyebrow. He sounds serious this time. You could [[set him free,|gratefulcount]] or you could [[make him suffer|thimbleend]] even more. The choice is yours...
Daniel Heddendorf
You feel the lighter at your right pocket, but do not pick it up. The General gives you a long, hard stare before heaving a sigh.\n\n"You remind me so much of my troops. Always telling me that smoking would be the end of me. I've tried time and time again to quit... and maybe today is another time to do so."\n\nWith that, he pulls the cigarette from his lips, and throws it behind him. He stands up, and extends a hand to you. You shake it. The handshake is less firm than you expected.\n\n"I go by the General nowadays. Don't ask me what my old name was; I left that life behind a long time ago," he says, a trace of solemn emotion in his gruff voice.\n\nHe sits back down.\n\n"So... what do you want to talk about? [[The past?|pastgen]] [[The present?|presentgen]] [[The future?|futuregen]] I'm ready for anything."
"Well, that'll be all. We'll see you out now," the Mistress suddenly says.\n\nYou drop your drink in surprise.\n\n"Come, come. We've already graced you with our presence, there is no need for you to try and prolong it. Thank you for visiting, but I must insist that you take your leave."\n\nYou open your mouth to argue, but Mr. Stanforth once again emerges from the shadows and escorts you out.\n\nYou stand outside of the prison door. You fiddle with the handle, but it is securely locked.\n\nYou're unsure if that even counted as a date, or if it went well or poorly. All you know is that you're not in the mood to hear classical music for a long, long time.\n\n[[Game over|ending]]!