=== A Malicious Scandal Sheet ===

Rumour has it that the so-called 'wizards of the magical
bage company' are a front for a foreign outfit called
variously Valve or Aperture Science or some other such
nonsense.  While their product seems good, I had a close
shave with an apparition who only called himself the G-man
after endeavouring to put my head through the entrance of
one of these bags.  I therefore recommend that you keep
limbs, heads, and other body parts well clear until I can
investigate further.

I am using some of Mr. Maggots slimming and digestive
mushrooms to lose the additional pounds required to fit
myself through one of these Portals.  While the effects
are unpleasant and similar to those potions of Salt
Water, I am sure that I'll be able to make it through in
a few days.  Wish me luck.

- M.B.

PS: Is there any credence to the 'Please report any crashes
with magical bags' notes I keep finding?
